I love this, this is exactly me and my 4yr old son right now. But.... what's the alternative? Because as much as I understand that he doesn't want to be controlled (and he's 4 so he struggles to understand *why* he can't do what he wants to do), sometimes I *need* him to do what he's asked e.g. I need him to go to bed, because I'm exhausted and I need to go to bed, or I need him to stop doing things that will break or damage the house. And as much I try really hard to stay calm, I also don't think I can just "allow" him to hit me when he's frustrated, but asking him calmly to stop and explaining why we don't do that, well, doesn't work.... nor does taking him to his room, but at least if he stays in his room (if I can ever get him to stay) he can't break anything, and I stand some chance of sorting out dinner or whatever else needs doing for his sister. I hate leaving him on his own when he's upset and frustrated, and I wish I could find a different way to deal with what I'm sure is fairly normal 4yr yr old stuff, but what's the alternative? I'm literally out of ideas!
This so describes my son. Demand avoidant and answers "No" constantly.
There's a lot of negotiation in our lives to get him to do things, but it keeps things interesting. Historically, we have definitely been stuck like the flow chart describes.
I love this, this is exactly me and my 4yr old son right now. But.... what's the alternative? Because as much as I understand that he doesn't want to be controlled (and he's 4 so he struggles to understand *why* he can't do what he wants to do), sometimes I *need* him to do what he's asked e.g. I need him to go to bed, because I'm exhausted and I need to go to bed, or I need him to stop doing things that will break or damage the house. And as much I try really hard to stay calm, I also don't think I can just "allow" him to hit me when he's frustrated, but asking him calmly to stop and explaining why we don't do that, well, doesn't work.... nor does taking him to his room, but at least if he stays in his room (if I can ever get him to stay) he can't break anything, and I stand some chance of sorting out dinner or whatever else needs doing for his sister. I hate leaving him on his own when he's upset and frustrated, and I wish I could find a different way to deal with what I'm sure is fairly normal 4yr yr old stuff, but what's the alternative? I'm literally out of ideas!
I feel seen. Thank you.
This so describes my son. Demand avoidant and answers "No" constantly.
There's a lot of negotiation in our lives to get him to do things, but it keeps things interesting. Historically, we have definitely been stuck like the flow chart describes.