Thank you for this article. We have decided to take both our ND children (age 8 and 11) out of school this year. Youngest hasn’t attended for 6 months and eldest was badly bullied in secondary though coped with primary school. Both are so much happier and already have plans to learn things of interest to them, sometimes things they’d learn in school but not always. Eldest found it hard to think about there being another way as he had always been at school but as we talked about possibilities and he saw that he didn’t have to just submit to the expectations of others, he began to see that there was another way. We set it originally as an experiment for a year and he could go back if he wanted to - by the end of the school year (after 6 weeks discussion), he was so relieved to be NOT EVER going back to school. We feel much less stressed immediately as a family and more ready to face the challenges of next year. Interestingly, despite it being the ‘summer holidays’, both boys are more engaged in learning already than they have been all year, there are less arguments and everyone is happier. Thank you for this substack which led us to your books which all gave us the confidence as a family to do what it right for us rather than trying to squeeze the boys into a world which does not suit them.
Congratulations for taking such a brave decision. Do your kids follow online programs or just personal interests? I wonder what are homeschooling regulations in your country. Do you have to submit something to the authorities or you're free to take your kids out of school?
In England, we have to demonstrate that we provide “efficient full time education suitable to his age, ability and aptitude and to any special educational needs he may have”. The local authority keeps track of home educators but so long as they are happy that we’re providing the above, it basically up to us what the kids learn. We chose self directed learning so the boys have the chance to really engage in their interests deeply and build the learning webs between ‘subjects’ rather than seeing things in isolation. We did discuss possibly keeping things like maths as tutor taught but discarded the idea for now - the boys can ask for that kind of formal instruction when they’re ready. Hope this helps.
Very interesting! Glad to hear there is some flexibility from the authorities and that the boys can enjoy their learning. Good luck on this beautiful journey!
Bravo, Naomi Fisher! Finally, someone with knowledge and authority is making sense about kids and learning. I was a teacher. They gave me all the ‘bad’ kids in the high school. I listened to them. School started at 7am…but these kids met me behind the school at 6:30am to watch the sun come up and then they were ready for the day. I also got blackballed from the district. Apparently, it was more important for me to eat lunch in the smoke filled teachers lounge, than to eat with the kids (plus when the ‘bad’ kids looked good….it made their usual teachers look rather ‘bad’.
Today I had a day away from home and looking after my child who takes all my energy. She is 12 and hasn’t been in school all year and we just got turned down for an EHCP. I’ve had your new book since publication day but no time to read. I grabbed it on the way out on a whim and I’ve read it all today. So many notes made and passages highlighted!
I cannot tell you how different I feel now than I did this morning. Expecting the next year to be filled with meetings and fighting and paperwork I have just decided to say NO.
I’m going to take my gorgeous girl out of school, I’m going to make her feel safe and valued and give her time to heal and then I’m going to give her space to learn.
Thank you. This post just sealed the deal. I know it won’t be smooth sailing but I do know that I have loved learning my whole life and we will find that for her too. I have Hope.
So many paradigms are crumbling down, and rightly so.
For our family, there are maybe just two or three things that we see as “compulsory”: kids must learn to swim correctly the soonest and have to learn other languages (we live in Europe).
But the good part is to let them see those occasions in which being able to swim or to speak other languages makes a difference. If they see it, they’re sold on the idea.
I loved your kids learning bookbinding and entomology because they find it interesting!
I couldn’t agree more but how do you help your ND child to understand and believe this when they think school is the only way? Despite the fact that they don’t attend because they can’t cope and aren’t able to learn.
Here’s how we worked it out with my two: We dropped the idea then left it to get processed. Then, a week or so later, brought it up again and started talking about the things we could do differently if we chose to learn at home, like being able to learn when the kids were ready, not having to stay on timetable, and going on holiday when it was quiet. We kept the conversation going sporadically over the next couple of weeks, spotting things we could do differently. Then we made a list of pros and cons for being at school and learning at home - that was the point when my eldest realised how much he didn’t want to be at school. Once he’d started to come round to the idea, we started thinking of things we’d like to learn that wouldn’t be on the school curriculum and doing some research into how we could access them - for mine it was bookbinding and entomology. That seemed to help them realise it really was possible and that it wasn’t just me saying we were going to do school but at home. I also read Naomi’s books which helped me and shared with my eldest the research and information explaining that people who are home educated can still pass exams and go on to good careers as adults - that was something he was worried about having been made to take tests all his school life and being told he had to continually practise for his GCSEs.
I don’t know if that helps any but I hope you find a way to support your child and get support yourself.
Thank you for this article. We have decided to take both our ND children (age 8 and 11) out of school this year. Youngest hasn’t attended for 6 months and eldest was badly bullied in secondary though coped with primary school. Both are so much happier and already have plans to learn things of interest to them, sometimes things they’d learn in school but not always. Eldest found it hard to think about there being another way as he had always been at school but as we talked about possibilities and he saw that he didn’t have to just submit to the expectations of others, he began to see that there was another way. We set it originally as an experiment for a year and he could go back if he wanted to - by the end of the school year (after 6 weeks discussion), he was so relieved to be NOT EVER going back to school. We feel much less stressed immediately as a family and more ready to face the challenges of next year. Interestingly, despite it being the ‘summer holidays’, both boys are more engaged in learning already than they have been all year, there are less arguments and everyone is happier. Thank you for this substack which led us to your books which all gave us the confidence as a family to do what it right for us rather than trying to squeeze the boys into a world which does not suit them.
Congratulations for taking such a brave decision. Do your kids follow online programs or just personal interests? I wonder what are homeschooling regulations in your country. Do you have to submit something to the authorities or you're free to take your kids out of school?
Hi Halima,
In England, we have to demonstrate that we provide “efficient full time education suitable to his age, ability and aptitude and to any special educational needs he may have”. The local authority keeps track of home educators but so long as they are happy that we’re providing the above, it basically up to us what the kids learn. We chose self directed learning so the boys have the chance to really engage in their interests deeply and build the learning webs between ‘subjects’ rather than seeing things in isolation. We did discuss possibly keeping things like maths as tutor taught but discarded the idea for now - the boys can ask for that kind of formal instruction when they’re ready. Hope this helps.
Very interesting! Glad to hear there is some flexibility from the authorities and that the boys can enjoy their learning. Good luck on this beautiful journey!
Bravo, Naomi Fisher! Finally, someone with knowledge and authority is making sense about kids and learning. I was a teacher. They gave me all the ‘bad’ kids in the high school. I listened to them. School started at 7am…but these kids met me behind the school at 6:30am to watch the sun come up and then they were ready for the day. I also got blackballed from the district. Apparently, it was more important for me to eat lunch in the smoke filled teachers lounge, than to eat with the kids (plus when the ‘bad’ kids looked good….it made their usual teachers look rather ‘bad’.
Today I had a day away from home and looking after my child who takes all my energy. She is 12 and hasn’t been in school all year and we just got turned down for an EHCP. I’ve had your new book since publication day but no time to read. I grabbed it on the way out on a whim and I’ve read it all today. So many notes made and passages highlighted!
I cannot tell you how different I feel now than I did this morning. Expecting the next year to be filled with meetings and fighting and paperwork I have just decided to say NO.
I’m going to take my gorgeous girl out of school, I’m going to make her feel safe and valued and give her time to heal and then I’m going to give her space to learn.
Thank you. This post just sealed the deal. I know it won’t be smooth sailing but I do know that I have loved learning my whole life and we will find that for her too. I have Hope.
I love this thread!
So many paradigms are crumbling down, and rightly so.
For our family, there are maybe just two or three things that we see as “compulsory”: kids must learn to swim correctly the soonest and have to learn other languages (we live in Europe).
But the good part is to let them see those occasions in which being able to swim or to speak other languages makes a difference. If they see it, they’re sold on the idea.
I loved your kids learning bookbinding and entomology because they find it interesting!
It's inspiring!
Thank you!
I couldn’t agree more but how do you help your ND child to understand and believe this when they think school is the only way? Despite the fact that they don’t attend because they can’t cope and aren’t able to learn.
Hi Christina,
Here’s how we worked it out with my two: We dropped the idea then left it to get processed. Then, a week or so later, brought it up again and started talking about the things we could do differently if we chose to learn at home, like being able to learn when the kids were ready, not having to stay on timetable, and going on holiday when it was quiet. We kept the conversation going sporadically over the next couple of weeks, spotting things we could do differently. Then we made a list of pros and cons for being at school and learning at home - that was the point when my eldest realised how much he didn’t want to be at school. Once he’d started to come round to the idea, we started thinking of things we’d like to learn that wouldn’t be on the school curriculum and doing some research into how we could access them - for mine it was bookbinding and entomology. That seemed to help them realise it really was possible and that it wasn’t just me saying we were going to do school but at home. I also read Naomi’s books which helped me and shared with my eldest the research and information explaining that people who are home educated can still pass exams and go on to good careers as adults - that was something he was worried about having been made to take tests all his school life and being told he had to continually practise for his GCSEs.
I don’t know if that helps any but I hope you find a way to support your child and get support yourself.
And thank you, Naomi!
I also see hope as the most powerful tool we can provide them with for the future.
I love your post!
Jose
Beautifully written and such an antidote to so much of the anxiety that seems to infect discussions about education