So true. I feel like a lot of people seem to forget (or choose to ignore) the simple fact that children are just adults, but smaller. They do the same things adults do - express their emotions through actions and words.
But for some reason when that expression comes from a child, it carries less meaning and it can so easily be dismissed and ignored. I know from my own experience of parenting and being parented that it’s often much easier just to contain and shut down difficult expressions of emotion. It’s hard and takes effort, but just taking a moment and thinking about the why behind the “behaviour” is better for everyone involved.
Years ago I enjoyed the Happily Family online conference and there was a discussion about Emotional Safety Plans. It was life changing for my family: we discussed it with the kids, let them think about how they feel (physically, emotionally) when they're getting overwhelmed, where they think would be a good safe space for them to recentre, what other things might help them, eg music, cold drink etc.
The kids responded so so well! We started off by just identifying a few things they could do to help themselves then whenever they needed it they just took control and helped themselves. Initially we would remind them about their Plan and ask if they needed it.
It really helped them to be able to identify their own signals: they could implement their individual Safety Plans and regulate themselves. It became so automatic for them that they don't even have to think about it now- they just know what they need to regulate.
The only time it didn't work was when they were at school and they were not allowed to use their Plans.
Teacher Hug Radio has a brilliant weekly podcast all about behaviour with Dr Jess Madhavi-Gladwell and Graham Chatterley.
So true. I feel like a lot of people seem to forget (or choose to ignore) the simple fact that children are just adults, but smaller. They do the same things adults do - express their emotions through actions and words.
But for some reason when that expression comes from a child, it carries less meaning and it can so easily be dismissed and ignored. I know from my own experience of parenting and being parented that it’s often much easier just to contain and shut down difficult expressions of emotion. It’s hard and takes effort, but just taking a moment and thinking about the why behind the “behaviour” is better for everyone involved.
Years ago I enjoyed the Happily Family online conference and there was a discussion about Emotional Safety Plans. It was life changing for my family: we discussed it with the kids, let them think about how they feel (physically, emotionally) when they're getting overwhelmed, where they think would be a good safe space for them to recentre, what other things might help them, eg music, cold drink etc.
The kids responded so so well! We started off by just identifying a few things they could do to help themselves then whenever they needed it they just took control and helped themselves. Initially we would remind them about their Plan and ask if they needed it.
It really helped them to be able to identify their own signals: they could implement their individual Safety Plans and regulate themselves. It became so automatic for them that they don't even have to think about it now- they just know what they need to regulate.
The only time it didn't work was when they were at school and they were not allowed to use their Plans.
Teacher Hug Radio has a brilliant weekly podcast all about behaviour with Dr Jess Madhavi-Gladwell and Graham Chatterley.
Love this explanation!