We had the same issue with our Yr7 ASD son - his attendance has been okay (just under 97%) even though he's struggled with the whole school experience, but the rewards day was given to the children with the highest house points, and he didn't make the cut. He has no idea why he hasn't got as many house points as the others - he has zero behaviour points and is doing well academically, teachers all seem to like him, yet most of his friends were invited to the rewards day and he wasn't. The rewards kids wore sports kit and wristbands while the others were in full uniform, so it made it really obvious which kids weren't "good enough", and of course the children who didn't make the cut had to sit in lessons watching and hearing all the others outside having fun. He absolutely felt like he was being punished for something, but has no idea what or how to "fix it" next year. For a kid who has managed to drag himself into school even when he was finding it a struggle, it's a real kick in the teeth to find you still haven't been "good enough". It's a needlessly cruel system.
I tried to read that out to my husband but I find it too upsetting. This has been the case in schools for so many generations now, making children feel like they are rubbish.
I have home educated before but after Christmas my 5 year old grandson became a school refuser because of being bullied by a peer. Hearsall the victim blaming before from schools and we knew there is an alternative.
So on Friday we had our rewards day which I admit included a trip to Smyths toys. But so often I think about the unfairness of this little boy who was so eager to love school but had the stuffing knocked out of him.
Tomorrow we are going fossil hunting with our end of year trip to the seaside.
I still feel angry at the system that is ingrained in rewarding only those who can but we are not engaging with it and learning is flourishing here.
My heart goes out to those children who have been made to feel second best and worthless. It's a similar sentiment to painting over the Disney wall frieze in the refugee detention centres. Cruel and unnecessary.
This is the same situation with our year 7 ASD son. He is on an AGREED reduced timetable due to severe EBSA is the past (he was unable to attend school for ~2.5 years). He has made amazing progress with approx 300 positive points, commendations from teachers and not a single negative point.
However he was not invited on the school trip and was excluded from many of the year end awards, as attendance was also added as extra part of the criteria. I invited the Head or someone from the SLT to sit in on his EHCP review, so they could see what his baseline was but they couldn't find the time to attend. We said it was completely unacceptable to make him feel like a failure when he had achieved so much and is anything but.
It is clear disability discrimination. We have spent years (literally) working to get him well again and back into school. It is so utterly disappointing and upsetting to experience this kind of attitude from so called professionals, and from a school which we originally chose due to its inclusiveness.
I had a middle-schooler who experienced a similar type of exclusion on a much smaller scale than the student described in the post. It caused deep hurt and emotional tumult during a time when there were already tremendous challenges happening outside of the school setting, and this was for a straight-A student whose cooperation and diligence had been noted by teachers as well. Yet the public exclusion over an arbitrary behavior mark count still happened, with no discussion of the matter allowed.
This really hit home. Things like this are the reason my 14-year old is no longer able to attend school. He has been battered by a system that is supposed to support him. And I agree with one of your commenters who said 'this is disability discrimination'. The school system needs to do better.
I haven't always been the kid with very high grades or a lot of friends in fact my Elementary School ended at 3rd grade. Which ended up causing me more stress going into Middle School in 4th grade. I didn't understand why other people understood what the teacher was talking about. My deslexa did not help my reading grade at all and I would sometimes feel horrible about myself for it. Plus living in a bad house hold. I am out of that house hold now tho and we moved to a different town where they help me more and make me feel excepted. But it still worries me I have to go into school that it might happen again.
We had the same issue with our Yr7 ASD son - his attendance has been okay (just under 97%) even though he's struggled with the whole school experience, but the rewards day was given to the children with the highest house points, and he didn't make the cut. He has no idea why he hasn't got as many house points as the others - he has zero behaviour points and is doing well academically, teachers all seem to like him, yet most of his friends were invited to the rewards day and he wasn't. The rewards kids wore sports kit and wristbands while the others were in full uniform, so it made it really obvious which kids weren't "good enough", and of course the children who didn't make the cut had to sit in lessons watching and hearing all the others outside having fun. He absolutely felt like he was being punished for something, but has no idea what or how to "fix it" next year. For a kid who has managed to drag himself into school even when he was finding it a struggle, it's a real kick in the teeth to find you still haven't been "good enough". It's a needlessly cruel system.
I tried to read that out to my husband but I find it too upsetting. This has been the case in schools for so many generations now, making children feel like they are rubbish.
I have home educated before but after Christmas my 5 year old grandson became a school refuser because of being bullied by a peer. Hearsall the victim blaming before from schools and we knew there is an alternative.
So on Friday we had our rewards day which I admit included a trip to Smyths toys. But so often I think about the unfairness of this little boy who was so eager to love school but had the stuffing knocked out of him.
Tomorrow we are going fossil hunting with our end of year trip to the seaside.
I still feel angry at the system that is ingrained in rewarding only those who can but we are not engaging with it and learning is flourishing here.
My heart goes out to those children who have been made to feel second best and worthless. It's a similar sentiment to painting over the Disney wall frieze in the refugee detention centres. Cruel and unnecessary.
All rewards and punishments do this. Our schools must do better. It's bullshit and heartbreaking.
This is the same situation with our year 7 ASD son. He is on an AGREED reduced timetable due to severe EBSA is the past (he was unable to attend school for ~2.5 years). He has made amazing progress with approx 300 positive points, commendations from teachers and not a single negative point.
However he was not invited on the school trip and was excluded from many of the year end awards, as attendance was also added as extra part of the criteria. I invited the Head or someone from the SLT to sit in on his EHCP review, so they could see what his baseline was but they couldn't find the time to attend. We said it was completely unacceptable to make him feel like a failure when he had achieved so much and is anything but.
It is clear disability discrimination. We have spent years (literally) working to get him well again and back into school. It is so utterly disappointing and upsetting to experience this kind of attitude from so called professionals, and from a school which we originally chose due to its inclusiveness.
I had a middle-schooler who experienced a similar type of exclusion on a much smaller scale than the student described in the post. It caused deep hurt and emotional tumult during a time when there were already tremendous challenges happening outside of the school setting, and this was for a straight-A student whose cooperation and diligence had been noted by teachers as well. Yet the public exclusion over an arbitrary behavior mark count still happened, with no discussion of the matter allowed.
This really hit home. Things like this are the reason my 14-year old is no longer able to attend school. He has been battered by a system that is supposed to support him. And I agree with one of your commenters who said 'this is disability discrimination'. The school system needs to do better.
This makes me so mad and then incredibly sad and defeated. Our kids are being let down by the system supposed to be lifting them up.
Still remember the feeling of staying back and being excluded from things. It's part of why I disengaged and dropped out. I was a 2E kid.
I haven't always been the kid with very high grades or a lot of friends in fact my Elementary School ended at 3rd grade. Which ended up causing me more stress going into Middle School in 4th grade. I didn't understand why other people understood what the teacher was talking about. My deslexa did not help my reading grade at all and I would sometimes feel horrible about myself for it. Plus living in a bad house hold. I am out of that house hold now tho and we moved to a different town where they help me more and make me feel excepted. But it still worries me I have to go into school that it might happen again.