....swimming.... letting go of the weekly hell of swimming lessons at 3 years old - That was a milestone for me - Swim teachers saying - "He will love it when he gets in" ..while he screamed constantly until he got back to the changing rooms- and me feeling like some hopeless failure of a mother and panicking he was losing some fundamental childhood right that every every other kid was loving .... And then a lovely child psychologist said - Maybe he doesn't need to learn to swim yet - He doesnt have to be like other kids - and so it was - He never has been like other kids- He is himself.
This is beautiful. Thank you for your words of wisdom that make it normal to respect our own and our kids feeling of "I've had enough" instead of insisting on "getting the entire experience" just because we paid for it. Respect for people's feelings trumps other peoples expectations and money paid out.
Thank you for this post which has made me quite emotional and brought up some memories of not being allowed to leave or being told off for not appreciating the full experience. I love the idea of guilt-free leaving and the alternative successes. I know I need to let go of the idea of having paid for an expensive outing and then not 'getting the full value' from it which is definitely a hang-over from childhood. I love your writing and the way you have made me look so differently at these kind of situations is so liberating.
Great post. I'd had enough 30 seconds in to a visit to primark today! 😁 Sadly, I had to stay for another 10 before I escaped to M and S! 😁 And breathe...
I love this. In fact only today we were at an expensive cultural attraction and my children weren’t in the mood for all the great facts and learning I was throwing their way. I realised I could try and force it, or let them enjoy the bits they enjoyed and leave on a high. They both said they loved the experience, which is surely better than my increasingly grumpy comments about the tea trade falling on deaf ears!
I always say this to my kids, that we can leave as soon as they are ready, my youngest often won't consider a new outing without this condition in place. Not always easy to carry out when you have more than one child with you but always worth it 😅
I really loved this piece. Having grown up with the attitude of making sure we got our money's worth, it's liberating (although a slowish process) to be able to see entry fees as sunk costs that give us more information to work with, regardless of how long we were there. How much more value is being able to enjoy something as much or as little as you actually do, without the pressure to perform for a price tag or external expectation.
....swimming.... letting go of the weekly hell of swimming lessons at 3 years old - That was a milestone for me - Swim teachers saying - "He will love it when he gets in" ..while he screamed constantly until he got back to the changing rooms- and me feeling like some hopeless failure of a mother and panicking he was losing some fundamental childhood right that every every other kid was loving .... And then a lovely child psychologist said - Maybe he doesn't need to learn to swim yet - He doesnt have to be like other kids - and so it was - He never has been like other kids- He is himself.
This is beautiful. Thank you for your words of wisdom that make it normal to respect our own and our kids feeling of "I've had enough" instead of insisting on "getting the entire experience" just because we paid for it. Respect for people's feelings trumps other peoples expectations and money paid out.
Thank you for this post which has made me quite emotional and brought up some memories of not being allowed to leave or being told off for not appreciating the full experience. I love the idea of guilt-free leaving and the alternative successes. I know I need to let go of the idea of having paid for an expensive outing and then not 'getting the full value' from it which is definitely a hang-over from childhood. I love your writing and the way you have made me look so differently at these kind of situations is so liberating.
Great post. I'd had enough 30 seconds in to a visit to primark today! 😁 Sadly, I had to stay for another 10 before I escaped to M and S! 😁 And breathe...
I love this. In fact only today we were at an expensive cultural attraction and my children weren’t in the mood for all the great facts and learning I was throwing their way. I realised I could try and force it, or let them enjoy the bits they enjoyed and leave on a high. They both said they loved the experience, which is surely better than my increasingly grumpy comments about the tea trade falling on deaf ears!
I always say this to my kids, that we can leave as soon as they are ready, my youngest often won't consider a new outing without this condition in place. Not always easy to carry out when you have more than one child with you but always worth it 😅
I really loved this piece. Having grown up with the attitude of making sure we got our money's worth, it's liberating (although a slowish process) to be able to see entry fees as sunk costs that give us more information to work with, regardless of how long we were there. How much more value is being able to enjoy something as much or as little as you actually do, without the pressure to perform for a price tag or external expectation.
I'd like to 'like' this so many times!
It frustrates me that children's voices are so often ignored because they're children- we need to listen to them.