A great synopsis of the high school transition. I would add one additional element that affected both myself and my daughter in that phase: bullying by peers. As mentioned, the feelings of shame at that age, particularly before peers is intense. If there is even a slight amount of bullying occurring amongst all of the other changes, the psychological stress can be exponentially increased. When schools are then also ill equipped to manage or even recognise these problems, students suffer immeasurably and parents can be lost for what to do. The issue is the school environment, not student behaviour. Not all students thrive or even learn effectively in these environments. I was a bright primary student with great potential who failed high school academically and socially and suffered life long harm from that experience. I now have 2 degrees and am midway through a PhD. My ability was never the problem: it was the education system which failed me, not the opposite.
This was me too, in a way. So intensely worried about the behaviour management and all the expectations that I just came to a stop half way through the first term of secondary school. I managed part time school until I left and miraculously was so much better after that. This was nearly 25 years ago and I’m only just coming to understand now what happened. This isn’t a new problem, my school was just ahead of the curve in terms of expectations and pressure.
It was very hard for 11, 12, 13 and (the final straw/year) 14 year old me to explain what it was about school that made me ill.
It still is. But this is part of it. And I’m sure this is part of it for other children especially in the UK context.
A great synopsis of the high school transition. I would add one additional element that affected both myself and my daughter in that phase: bullying by peers. As mentioned, the feelings of shame at that age, particularly before peers is intense. If there is even a slight amount of bullying occurring amongst all of the other changes, the psychological stress can be exponentially increased. When schools are then also ill equipped to manage or even recognise these problems, students suffer immeasurably and parents can be lost for what to do. The issue is the school environment, not student behaviour. Not all students thrive or even learn effectively in these environments. I was a bright primary student with great potential who failed high school academically and socially and suffered life long harm from that experience. I now have 2 degrees and am midway through a PhD. My ability was never the problem: it was the education system which failed me, not the opposite.
This was me too, in a way. So intensely worried about the behaviour management and all the expectations that I just came to a stop half way through the first term of secondary school. I managed part time school until I left and miraculously was so much better after that. This was nearly 25 years ago and I’m only just coming to understand now what happened. This isn’t a new problem, my school was just ahead of the curve in terms of expectations and pressure.
Our school gave up the "high control approach" and absenteeism skyrocketed. A middle ground is desperately needed!