I just don't get any of this: it's pretty much Kafkaesque. Where in life is it going to be beneficial to teach a child that punishment might befall them if something beyond their control happens to them? Uniform bits are always going to be bought by parents, the kids don't have much say, definitely not at 11. It seems to me we're training them to accept abusive conditions when they grow up.
It feels like a lot of things going on in schools in the UK nowadays should be considered abuse but we're mostly all collective just letting it be (with some valuable exceptions such as Naomi) and then wonder why mental health is so fraught among youngsters (25% of MH referrals are under 18 I think?).
We also encountered the shoes issue - must be all black, must not look like trainers, must be worn at all times. Despite agreeing some slight accommodations and emailing pictures of possibles to the SENCo, my eldest also felt that the minutiae of his shoes should not make the huge impact on his learning that it did. Really, when it comes down to it, does it matter that much that everyone looks exactly the same? I know there are arguments about the haves and have-nots but as a family in the latter category being asked to shell out nearly £600 a year for two minimal sets of school uniform just so my son can be uncomfortable, not able to focus or learn and need extra bits of under clothing to cope with the required uniform seems rather excessive. Especially when the detentions come for minor infringements like not having a ruler because someone had stolen it from him, or wearing a coat inside! Needless to say, we now home school and the boys are both much happier. Nothing against the school - it was the best of the options available but all schools seem to have this huge emphasis on compliance in little things, then no action is taken for the big things. When youngsters leave school we hear regular comments from the workplace that they have no initiative, can’t plan, need spoonfeeding, etc. I wonder why?!
And yet another mind-boggling story from the country I was brought up in, being read by me in an educationally questionable Bavaria that, as far as I know, nevertheless doesn’t go in for this kind of extraordinary stuff with people who are supposed to be setting an example of rational behaviour getting their knickers in a twist about shoe stitching, of all things.
Or could it be a complicated way of ensuring that change and reform will come sooner or later by putting such bizarre sanctions in place that those affected by them practically have no choice but to rise up and foment revolution?
As Naomi and other people on this blog have noted before, there’s actually no need for that: The scientific research has been done, the data and findings are abundantly supportive of what our common sense is telling us all the time – *we already know all we need to know* in order to provide adequate learning environments. So why don’t we do it? Beats me.
Strict clothing rules definitely have a negative impact on how children / teens experience school.
My son’s high school has a strict uniform policy by local standards – right down to requiring specific shoes. When he started at the school, the official store advertised four options, one being a black leather running shoe style which my son preferred. Unfortunately, the advertised options were only available in adult sizes and my son required youth sizing. In youth sizes only a single dress shoe style was offered. This shoe model did not fit my son’s feet correctly and during the first week of wearing them he increasingly limped. My son insisted he was okay, as he did not dare to bend school rules, but I went out and eventually found a very similar pair of black leather running shoes from a different manufacturer which fit his feet properly. On his second day wearing them, he was stopped by his English teacher who asked “Are those the correct shoes?” My son replied “Well, the guy sold them to me.” – not clarifying that it was the guy at the sports store (who, coincidently we discovered, was a graduate of this high school and thus was able to help me choose the best substitute model of shoe!) and not the guy from the official store. It helped that during this encounter my son was wearing a mask (due to pandemic policy at the time) so his facial expressions were mostly hidden, making it easier to bend the truth. Nonetheless, he went off to write a test in his next class, arriving late and feeling quite rattled. No one else ever questioned his shoes until the end of the following school year -perhaps because his pants were still long enough to mostly hide his shoes. (Interestingly, his pants were also not from the official supplier – we purchased a pair in youth sizing with an adjustable elastic / button waistband elsewhere – but with so many second-hand uniforms in circulation the range of pant fabrics / shades is large enough to make it easier to find a match, and no one ever questioned his pants). When he was questioned about his shoes the second time, it was by a member of the support staff he had never seen or heard of before; he was asked his name, grade and homeroom number (all recorded) and spent several days nervously waiting for consequences but nothing ever happened. Shortly afterwards the governing board announced slight changes to the uniform policy and his illicit shoes are now permitted.
The primary school my kids went to had a much more flexible dress code (rather than a school uniform), but my daughter still experienced an incident when she was 6 or 7 years old. I had not yet sorted out what winter gear my kids had outgrown nor purchased replacements (due to time and financial constraints) but the season’s first significant snowfall was now forecast for the coming Friday. As stores stay open later on Thursday evenings, I informed my kids that as soon as they arrived home from school, we would head downtown to buy new boots; this required a significant change to our schedule and the extra expense of dinner in the food court. Earlier in the week, on her way outside for recess, my daughter was told by a lunch supervisor to go back and get her boots on. When my daughter tried to explain she did not own boots, but her mom was buying some on Thursday, she was told to not talk back and made to stand in a corner of the vestibule while her friends went outside to play without her. My daughter then no longer wanted to stay at school for lunch; I had to bring her home for a few days. I contacted the lunch coordinator and both she and her assistant were wonderful, took steps to correct the situation and to support and reassure my daughter, but looking back, the damage was done and this was one of the experiences which helped to plant the seeds for my daughter’s school anxiety. She does not have to concern herself with the high school’s uniform policy as she is now home educated.
Thanks for your article, such a shame that her schooling and enjoyment of learning is being eroded over some stitching on a shoe.
"Behaviour is the result of an interaction between the person and their environment. If we ignore the role of the environment, we can make things worse."
This really resonated with me, and I need to keep it more front of mind as a parent and coach. If we can get the environment right they can soar. When we don't we get stories like the one you've shared.
Disrespect I can understand being punished for. Having bad shoes and not being able to get new ones is an issue that children should not be punished for, because those things are out of their control.
I just don't get any of this: it's pretty much Kafkaesque. Where in life is it going to be beneficial to teach a child that punishment might befall them if something beyond their control happens to them? Uniform bits are always going to be bought by parents, the kids don't have much say, definitely not at 11. It seems to me we're training them to accept abusive conditions when they grow up.
It feels like a lot of things going on in schools in the UK nowadays should be considered abuse but we're mostly all collective just letting it be (with some valuable exceptions such as Naomi) and then wonder why mental health is so fraught among youngsters (25% of MH referrals are under 18 I think?).
We also encountered the shoes issue - must be all black, must not look like trainers, must be worn at all times. Despite agreeing some slight accommodations and emailing pictures of possibles to the SENCo, my eldest also felt that the minutiae of his shoes should not make the huge impact on his learning that it did. Really, when it comes down to it, does it matter that much that everyone looks exactly the same? I know there are arguments about the haves and have-nots but as a family in the latter category being asked to shell out nearly £600 a year for two minimal sets of school uniform just so my son can be uncomfortable, not able to focus or learn and need extra bits of under clothing to cope with the required uniform seems rather excessive. Especially when the detentions come for minor infringements like not having a ruler because someone had stolen it from him, or wearing a coat inside! Needless to say, we now home school and the boys are both much happier. Nothing against the school - it was the best of the options available but all schools seem to have this huge emphasis on compliance in little things, then no action is taken for the big things. When youngsters leave school we hear regular comments from the workplace that they have no initiative, can’t plan, need spoonfeeding, etc. I wonder why?!
And yet another mind-boggling story from the country I was brought up in, being read by me in an educationally questionable Bavaria that, as far as I know, nevertheless doesn’t go in for this kind of extraordinary stuff with people who are supposed to be setting an example of rational behaviour getting their knickers in a twist about shoe stitching, of all things.
Or could it be a complicated way of ensuring that change and reform will come sooner or later by putting such bizarre sanctions in place that those affected by them practically have no choice but to rise up and foment revolution?
As Naomi and other people on this blog have noted before, there’s actually no need for that: The scientific research has been done, the data and findings are abundantly supportive of what our common sense is telling us all the time – *we already know all we need to know* in order to provide adequate learning environments. So why don’t we do it? Beats me.
Strict clothing rules definitely have a negative impact on how children / teens experience school.
My son’s high school has a strict uniform policy by local standards – right down to requiring specific shoes. When he started at the school, the official store advertised four options, one being a black leather running shoe style which my son preferred. Unfortunately, the advertised options were only available in adult sizes and my son required youth sizing. In youth sizes only a single dress shoe style was offered. This shoe model did not fit my son’s feet correctly and during the first week of wearing them he increasingly limped. My son insisted he was okay, as he did not dare to bend school rules, but I went out and eventually found a very similar pair of black leather running shoes from a different manufacturer which fit his feet properly. On his second day wearing them, he was stopped by his English teacher who asked “Are those the correct shoes?” My son replied “Well, the guy sold them to me.” – not clarifying that it was the guy at the sports store (who, coincidently we discovered, was a graduate of this high school and thus was able to help me choose the best substitute model of shoe!) and not the guy from the official store. It helped that during this encounter my son was wearing a mask (due to pandemic policy at the time) so his facial expressions were mostly hidden, making it easier to bend the truth. Nonetheless, he went off to write a test in his next class, arriving late and feeling quite rattled. No one else ever questioned his shoes until the end of the following school year -perhaps because his pants were still long enough to mostly hide his shoes. (Interestingly, his pants were also not from the official supplier – we purchased a pair in youth sizing with an adjustable elastic / button waistband elsewhere – but with so many second-hand uniforms in circulation the range of pant fabrics / shades is large enough to make it easier to find a match, and no one ever questioned his pants). When he was questioned about his shoes the second time, it was by a member of the support staff he had never seen or heard of before; he was asked his name, grade and homeroom number (all recorded) and spent several days nervously waiting for consequences but nothing ever happened. Shortly afterwards the governing board announced slight changes to the uniform policy and his illicit shoes are now permitted.
The primary school my kids went to had a much more flexible dress code (rather than a school uniform), but my daughter still experienced an incident when she was 6 or 7 years old. I had not yet sorted out what winter gear my kids had outgrown nor purchased replacements (due to time and financial constraints) but the season’s first significant snowfall was now forecast for the coming Friday. As stores stay open later on Thursday evenings, I informed my kids that as soon as they arrived home from school, we would head downtown to buy new boots; this required a significant change to our schedule and the extra expense of dinner in the food court. Earlier in the week, on her way outside for recess, my daughter was told by a lunch supervisor to go back and get her boots on. When my daughter tried to explain she did not own boots, but her mom was buying some on Thursday, she was told to not talk back and made to stand in a corner of the vestibule while her friends went outside to play without her. My daughter then no longer wanted to stay at school for lunch; I had to bring her home for a few days. I contacted the lunch coordinator and both she and her assistant were wonderful, took steps to correct the situation and to support and reassure my daughter, but looking back, the damage was done and this was one of the experiences which helped to plant the seeds for my daughter’s school anxiety. She does not have to concern herself with the high school’s uniform policy as she is now home educated.
Adults that were bullies as children continue to be bullies as adults. It’s revolting! This poor child! So frustrating!!
Thanks for your article, such a shame that her schooling and enjoyment of learning is being eroded over some stitching on a shoe.
"Behaviour is the result of an interaction between the person and their environment. If we ignore the role of the environment, we can make things worse."
This really resonated with me, and I need to keep it more front of mind as a parent and coach. If we can get the environment right they can soar. When we don't we get stories like the one you've shared.
Disrespect I can understand being punished for. Having bad shoes and not being able to get new ones is an issue that children should not be punished for, because those things are out of their control.
Love those shoes!
Schooling = performance, not education.